Anxiety is a...

Well I'm sure you can finish that sentence!  Jose and I have been going through a rollercoaster with life lately, to say the least!  We have been in the process of moving/not moving, dealing with a horrible landlord, people in & out of our house for two months now.  I will attempt blogging on my private blog about that.  This is my Jazzy Blog and I want to stay focused on the topic :-)

So, with everything going on I have had HORRIBLE anxiety.  I honestly want to rip my skin off, I can't sleep, eating terribly and I'm turning to alcohol to help me sleep and relax (I KNOW that it isn't good! I've tried praying, reading my bible and seeking God in this.  But mental issues are serious and need help and treatment.  Which I can't get due to not having any insurance.)  I've been so bad that I have been getting physically sick to where I can't go to Jazzercise.  I honestly haven't been practicing, I haven't been working out like I should be and the list goes on and on unfortunately.
I got on the scale this morning and I've gained 7lbs in the last month.  I'm really trying not to beat myself up and be hard on myself but it's not easy!!! 
We all fall off the bandwagon.  Family goes through trying times.  Life throws curve balls at us.  Major things happen.
We can all either learn from it or allow it to keep us down.  The choice is ours.  We can let circumstance control us or we can control our circumstances.
Starting today I got up, ate right and got my butt to Jazzercise.  I can honestly say, when I "fall off the bandwagon" my biggest issue is the snacking on the wrong foods and dinner.  I can honestly say I did good for most of the day until dinner.  I wasn't "bad" but I could have been better.  Everyday is a new chance to make the right choice.  What will you do with it?
I have a training coming up July 6th, same as the last one I went to.  My goal is to get those 7lbs off.  I will be limiting my carbs, sugars, 'junk' and of course alcohol.  I have my BAFF that I've gone to for support (which is HUGE!  We can't do this alone and we should get as much support as possible).  I will be texting her and using her when I need that support whether it's to talk me down, build me up, give me some direction, etc...

I've posted a picture of what stress does to ones body.  It is serious and many people don't take it serious enough.  I hope you learned something and if you are under life's pressures, seek what you can change.  Even if it's one thing at a time.

Huge Hugs and Love to you

Chasing The High

Have you heard that quote, "She's chasing the high."
It's typically used with drug addicts or alcoholics.  But I have officially claimed it!
NO, I'm not doing drugs.
NO, I'm not drinking.
BUT, what I am doing is chasing my food addiction high.
Jose and I took the kids to the drive in Tuesday night.  Before we left I stopped at the Dollar Tree and bought candy, a lot of candy!  I bought Ant, Dom and Dee's requested candy along with the candy that I thought Jose and I would want to munch on.  On our way out to the drive in we stopped at Little Ceasars to buy some $5 pizza's with what else...Garlic Butter Dipping Sauce!  Makes my mouth drool just thinking of it!

We got to the drive in and got situated.  I fed all the munchkins so that I can sit and enjoy my hot pizza with my garlic butter dipping sauce.  OH YEAH...I was one happy Mama!!!  Until piece number three.  I felt horrible!  I wanted to vomit and get it out of my belly.  But I knew that would bring other issues and I really didn't want to vomit all that yummy goodness I just devoured.  So I drank 2 bottles of water.  After all, it would flush it down to where I could next have some CANDYYYYYY!
OH YEAH, first it was a Red Vine, then I opened the box of Sugar Babies for Jose and had to have a handful.  Then the Chewy Sweet Tart Minis I bought Anthony...Hey, they were tiny and I needed a tart after the sweets.  Then my box...Whoppers!  I had a few OK, I had about 6!
I was chasing that high!  I wanted something but nothing was getting it.  Out of all of the junk I ate, nothing got me to where I wanted to be.  I could have kept going but my body was screaming at me from the inside out!  It was horrible.  I felt lousy for the rest of the night, even after about 6 bottles of water.  The next day I woke up with my sciatica flared up and my sinus inflamed.  I couldn't work out, and still haven't this week.  So I knew I had to do something right.  I pounded the water all day on Wednesday and ate tons of veggies and fruits trying to flush my body of all the toxins.
Yes, TOXINS!  Our bodies weren't made for all of the processed food we give it.  The fattening foods we put into it.  The grease we expect it to digest.  Like I've said before, I don't deprive my body but it all has to be done in moderation, not gorge!

So what could I have done better?
1) Pack & Prepare- apples with almond butter, grapes, grape tomatoes, raisins dipped in yogurt and frozen, popcorn with no butter.

2) Pre-thought MY dinner- I could have made a salad and taken that with me.  Or even cut up veggies that I could have eaten BEFORE the pizza.  Then I would only have needed to eat 1 piece, opposed to the 3 I ate.  It would have even benefited my family to have a salad or veggies before dinner.

3) Not buying as much candy- I still have 4 boxes of candy in my pantry.  I didn't need to buy all of that candy.  My kids nor Jose eat it.  It'll sit in there for a while until I throw it out.  Actually , Jose did finish off the sugar babies last night and I think Adi ate some red vines.  But I didn't need to buy all that candy.

There is SO much that goes into this whole learning to live better.  I have to remember to think before I act, just like in any other area of my life.
Just like the quote says below, "Old habits die hard.  But the good news is, they do die." ~JM