I have always been one that is going NON-stop! I have been a mom since I was 17 and as the years have gone on I've always ran, ran, ran constantly. So much that when I do have "down time" (which believe you me, it's RARE!) I don't know what to do with myself.
This isn't always a good thing. Because I'm constantly on the go I'm also a "Go-Getter" type of person. If I commit to something, I will do and do one heck of a job to the best of my ability. I take on one too many tasks because as I see it, "if I don't step up and do it, who will?"
Well, this unfortunately has run into my Jazzercise Journey. Since I started thinking about becoming an instructor I wanted to focus more, learn the moves better, take more classes to build my endurance. Then when I passed the screening, I wanted to get right onto the training and so on.
Recently talking with my main mentor and some other instructors it's been suggested that I take it slow and learn the best to my ability before going to the workshop routine. With everything else going on in my life (which I've been too busy to even blog about that) they suggested that I take it slow.
My first reaction was, "yeah right! I started this and damn it, I'm finishing it. On the date I was originally planned for! Even if it kills me!"
Then I thought about it. Talked to Jose about it. Thought about it. Talked to a few other instructors about it. Thought about it.
Honestly, at first I felt like a failure. Like I'm not good enough or that I don't have what it takes. But as I thought about it and learned that I really needed to pray about it, God gave me revelation through it.
1) I need to stop putting labels on myself!
Just because I may not be able to do what I'm expected to do to become an instructor RIGHT NOW, doesn't mean that I'm a failure! It means that I need practice. That I need to learn more. That I need to perfect the knowledge that I currently have before pouring into others.
2) It's OKAY!
I will get there and it's okay if it's not tomorrow. As you know, I've lost some weight. It didn't happen over night and I also didn't gain it over night. I have been doing Jazzercise for almost 2 years, that's it! I can't become an instructor in 3 months and it's OKAY!
3) Slow down!
Our society is such a microwave society. Everything has to be done ASAP. We want to know something, we google it. We want to go somewhere, we map it. We want to eat something, we heat it up or drive through a Drive Thru and pick it up. Then eat it in our vehicle! Everything we do has to be done instantaneously. It's not how God intended us to be. Things take time! Your brain and body are primary examples of that. We send our kids to school for 13 years and then to college for at least another 4 just to have a career. We can't expect to learn everything over night. Noah didn't build the ark over night, it took some time!
Where I'm at right now is in a learning process. This is a Journey, right!?!
Journey translated means: going from one place to another, usually of some distance.
Now unless I'm on a jet plane with a ticket in hand, I don't think I'll be getting there anytime soon! So in the mean time, I might as well enjoy the trip...RIGHT!?!?
I need to slow down and let the process take it's time like a wonderful roast in a crockpot!
On another note...I was working out to my training DVD on Wednesday and Adriana was home with me. She was on the couch with my phone recording me, without me knowing! I was kind of irritated at first that she recorded me but after watching it I was actually glad. I was able to really see myself. Let me tell ya....there was NOTHING purty about them videos! HAHAHAHAHA Mama's got some work to do!
But I'm doing it and my family is AMAZINGLY encouraging! There is a song, All Around The World by Paulina Rubio. I swear to you, it's going to kill me!!!!!!!!!!!
ANYWAYS....I would keep stopping during the song and Adriana would tell me, "Come on Ma, you can do it! Don't think about it, just do it. Practice makes perfect."
Ant and Jose have been encouraging me also. It truly puts tears in my eyes!
So this Saturday is my very first District Practice. It is on Movement Technique. I am TERRIFIED! I've been warned that I am going to have my butt handed to me! I am trying to stay focused and strong but all I can think about is, "I'm not going to make it! I'm going to be like the BL contestants and faint. Why am I doing this?"
I know it's all negative thoughts and I know I shouldn't be thinking like this but I am. I need to learn to focus and know that, this is going to be a lot of hard work. But I CAN do it and I WILL get through it! There is a reason why I'm on this journey and I'm birthing something great! One thing about birth, there is NO backing out or stopping!
So until I'm done...I will continue!
I'll try to update Sunday or Monday how it goes. Until then know...YOU TOO can do whatever you are facing!
Huge Hugs and Love!
