Back at it!

I got my new 10 workshop songs. I'm so ecstatic over them, I can't even express my excitement. 

Found out yesterday that we will be working on Treasure by Bruno Mars on Thursday. One song I've gotten down pretty well. 

Here's hoping to a new year and a new Jazzercise Instructor!

Anxiety is a...

Well I'm sure you can finish that sentence!  Jose and I have been going through a rollercoaster with life lately, to say the least!  We have been in the process of moving/not moving, dealing with a horrible landlord, people in & out of our house for two months now.  I will attempt blogging on my private blog about that.  This is my Jazzy Blog and I want to stay focused on the topic :-)

So, with everything going on I have had HORRIBLE anxiety.  I honestly want to rip my skin off, I can't sleep, eating terribly and I'm turning to alcohol to help me sleep and relax (I KNOW that it isn't good! I've tried praying, reading my bible and seeking God in this.  But mental issues are serious and need help and treatment.  Which I can't get due to not having any insurance.)  I've been so bad that I have been getting physically sick to where I can't go to Jazzercise.  I honestly haven't been practicing, I haven't been working out like I should be and the list goes on and on unfortunately.
I got on the scale this morning and I've gained 7lbs in the last month.  I'm really trying not to beat myself up and be hard on myself but it's not easy!!! 
We all fall off the bandwagon.  Family goes through trying times.  Life throws curve balls at us.  Major things happen.
We can all either learn from it or allow it to keep us down.  The choice is ours.  We can let circumstance control us or we can control our circumstances.
Starting today I got up, ate right and got my butt to Jazzercise.  I can honestly say, when I "fall off the bandwagon" my biggest issue is the snacking on the wrong foods and dinner.  I can honestly say I did good for most of the day until dinner.  I wasn't "bad" but I could have been better.  Everyday is a new chance to make the right choice.  What will you do with it?
I have a training coming up July 6th, same as the last one I went to.  My goal is to get those 7lbs off.  I will be limiting my carbs, sugars, 'junk' and of course alcohol.  I have my BAFF that I've gone to for support (which is HUGE!  We can't do this alone and we should get as much support as possible).  I will be texting her and using her when I need that support whether it's to talk me down, build me up, give me some direction, etc...

I've posted a picture of what stress does to ones body.  It is serious and many people don't take it serious enough.  I hope you learned something and if you are under life's pressures, seek what you can change.  Even if it's one thing at a time.

Huge Hugs and Love to you

You can find me in the bathroom, crying...

That's where I was today!
I took two classes today and by the time the 'heavies' were going in the second class I was beat, physically and emotionally.
This week has been emotional already, I have a LOT (probably an understatement) going on.  I will blog about all that on my family page here: Good Luck Keeping Up
Then last week I was laid up for 5 days due to a pulled ham string.  Going back to working out on Monday was a challenge.  Tuesday I was sore.  Today I woke up and could barely move!  My abs are KILLING me, my legs feel like I've been doing hundreds of squats.  I went to class and took a great class taught by Shannon, especially the strength training part of it.  Wooo, was it tough.  But I did it and didn't slow down or stop no matter how painful those arm circles with 8lb weights in each hand were.  Then the ab work...HOLY TOLEDO!  Gretchen and Shannon have the same routine in their set and it is intense!
Well Jen was telling me about Adriana's class that she has been teaching and found out that she was going to teach it today at the 10:10 class.  At the end of my 9 o'clock class I thought, "NO WAY am I staying."  But when I went to the back I thought, "I can do this.  Besides it'll be lots of fun with all the latin music."  So I checked in for class #2...there's no leaving after checking in!
I was off in the beginning, lots of new songs and a few I haven't done in a while.  But I caught up and caught on.  Funny how your body and mind remember moves.  Kind of like not riding a bicycle for a number of years then getting back on.  It all comes back to you.
Then we hit our 'heavies'.  I know they are both heavies because they are both my Workshop Routine Songs.  I LOVE one and I LOATH the other!
The first one is JLo and Pitbull Dance Again (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjgFH01k0gU)
I actually love this routine and am challenging myself with the jumping and squats.  I know I suck at it but I'm learning that my thighs and butt are my biggest challenges as well as two big muscle groups that are hard to work.  I wanted to quite, but I pushed myself and got through it.
Then I hear Paulina Rubio All Around The World ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEyvt0HuUbI)
This song will be the death of me!  NO IT WILL NOT, I WILL DEFEAT IT!!!!
Adriana started this song and I literally heard it and said, "Okay Lord, I need you on this one!"  And it began....I tried HARD!  Ultimately I ended up doing two chorus' in low impact.  No, I didn't stop.  But man I was PISSED!  I stopped before the song was over and went to the bathroom and cried.  Wanted to punch the wall but didn't.  Then composed myself and went back out there to finish the rest of the class.
When I walked out of that bathroom I had this feeling of defeat all over me.  I was weighed down and wanted to just say, "Screw it!" and walk out.  I didn't but I wanted to.  I felt a heaviness on me the remainder of the class that I couldn't shake.  When I left I called Jose and just wanted to fall into his arms.  I told him, "I get so mad at myself.  Why can't I beat these songs together?  I feel like I'm a failure and I'm not going to make this."
His words were dead on and comforted me.  He said, "Mija, I know how you feel.  I have felt that way also.  But don't let it hold you down.  You are going to keep practicing, pushing and working hard to get them.  Let that frustration give you a drive to work harder and defeat it."
Like I said before, "this is a journey.  I'm learning daily."  I don't have the endurance like my crazy girl Tana who gets up on stage and is all over the place.  I have to build it up.  It takes time and practice.
I feel like God has placed me here now because I find a lot of encouragement in my Babies.  Anthony & Adriana are AWESOME athletes!  Their endurance, stamina and abilities amaze me.  But they didn't get where they are at over night.  They practice, HARD!!!!  They didn't become the athletes they are by watching but engaging.  They learned and put what they learned into practice then what they practiced into the game.  I've always told them, "do your best and leave it on the field."  Now it's time Mama takes her own advice and I do my best and leave it all on the dance floor.  If I tried to quite and they were there cheering me on I know I would go to the sidelines and they would tell me, "Ma, quitting isn't an option.  Find your strength and push through."
So, I'm going to push through...No matter what it takes!  I may be in the bathroom crying out of frustration.  But that frustration is going to fuel me and I WILL come out fighting!

Learning to be a Crockpot in a Microwave World

I have always been one that is going NON-stop!  I have been a mom since I was 17 and as the years have gone on I've always ran, ran, ran constantly.  So much that when I do have "down time" (which believe you me, it's RARE!) I don't know what to do with myself.
This isn't always a good thing.  Because I'm constantly on the go I'm also a "Go-Getter" type of person.  If I commit to something, I will do and do one heck of a job to the best of my ability.  I take on one too many tasks because as I see it, "if I don't step up and do it, who will?"

Well, this unfortunately has run into my Jazzercise Journey.  Since I started thinking about becoming an instructor I wanted to focus more, learn the moves better, take more classes to build my endurance.  Then when I passed the screening, I wanted to get right onto the training and so on.

Recently talking with my main mentor and some other instructors it's been suggested that I take it slow and learn the best to my ability before going to the workshop routine.  With everything else going on in my life (which I've been too busy to even blog about that) they suggested that I take it slow.
My first reaction was, "yeah right!  I started this and damn it, I'm finishing it.  On the date I was originally planned for!  Even if it kills me!"
Then I thought about it.  Talked to Jose about it.  Thought about it.  Talked to a few other instructors about it.  Thought about it.
Honestly, at first I felt like a failure.  Like I'm not good enough or that I don't have what it takes.  But as I thought about it and learned that I really needed to pray about it, God gave me revelation through it.

1) I need to stop putting labels on myself!
Just because I may not be able to do what I'm expected to do to become an instructor RIGHT NOW, doesn't mean that I'm a failure!  It means that I need practice.  That I need to learn more.  That I need to perfect the knowledge that I currently have before pouring into others.
2) It's OKAY!
I will get there and it's okay if it's not tomorrow.  As you know, I've lost some weight.  It didn't happen over night and I also didn't gain it over night.  I have been doing Jazzercise for almost 2 years, that's it!  I can't become an instructor in 3 months and it's OKAY!
3) Slow down!
Our society is such a microwave society.  Everything has to be done ASAP.  We want to know something, we google it.  We want to go somewhere, we map it.  We want to eat something, we heat it up or drive through a Drive Thru and pick it up.  Then eat it in our vehicle!  Everything we do has to be done instantaneously.  It's not how God intended us to be.  Things take time!  Your brain and body are primary examples of that.  We send our kids to school for 13 years and then to college for at least another 4 just to have a career.  We can't expect to learn everything over night.  Noah didn't build the ark over night, it took some time!

Where I'm at right now is in a learning process.  This is a Journey, right!?!
Journey translated means: going from one place to another, usually of some distance.
Now unless I'm on a jet plane with a ticket in hand, I don't think I'll be getting there anytime soon!  So in the mean time, I might as well enjoy the trip...RIGHT!?!?
I need to slow down and let the process take it's time like a wonderful roast in a crockpot!

On another note...I was working out to my training DVD on Wednesday and Adriana was home with me.  She was on the couch with my phone recording me, without me knowing!  I was kind of irritated at first that she recorded me but after watching it I was actually glad.  I was able to really see myself.  Let me tell ya....there was NOTHING purty about them videos!  HAHAHAHAHA  Mama's got some work to do!
But I'm doing it and my family is AMAZINGLY encouraging!  There is a song, All Around The World by Paulina Rubio.  I swear to you, it's going to kill me!!!!!!!!!!!
ANYWAYS....I would keep stopping during the song and Adriana would tell me, "Come on Ma, you can do it!  Don't think about it, just do it.  Practice makes perfect."
Ant and Jose have been encouraging me also.  It truly puts tears in my eyes!

So this Saturday is my very first District Practice.  It is on Movement Technique.  I am TERRIFIED!  I've been warned that I am going to have my butt handed to me!  I am trying to stay focused and strong but all I can think about is, "I'm not going to make it!  I'm going to be like the BL contestants and faint.  Why am I doing this?"
I know it's all negative thoughts and I know I shouldn't be thinking like this but I am.  I need to learn to focus and know that, this is going to be a lot of hard work.  But I CAN do it and I WILL get through it!  There is a reason why I'm on this journey and I'm birthing something great!  One thing about birth, there is NO backing out or stopping!
So until I'm done...I will continue!

I'll try to update Sunday or Monday how it goes.  Until then know...YOU TOO can do whatever you are facing!

Huge Hugs and Love!

Spotlight on progress

If these pictures aren't testimonies to what hard work, determination and Jazzercise does for you then I don't know what is.
I am beyond proud of my Sissy By Law and her journey. She has done amazing! No surgery, no shakes, no pills, no easy way of doing it.
Hard work, depriving yourself, working your butt off, keeping focussed, forgiving yourself and pushing forward is what has gotten us both where we are.
I wouldn't want to be on this journey with anybody else. Love you my Sissy By Law & I'm UBBER proud of you!!!!

How are you recovering?

Are you properly recovering after you workout?
Ideally, you should try to eat within 60 minutes of the end of your workout and make sure you include some high-quality protein and complex carbohydrate.

Here is some great information:
http://healthyeating.sfgate.com/food-rebuild-muscle-after-exercise-3987.html

I always have something different and include fruit with my protein. Recently I found Fage Greek Yogurt. One cup contains 130 cal and 23 grams of protein, without all the added sugar other yogurts have in theirs. I add my own FRESH fruit to my yogurt to get the best benefit from it.
Here is today's mix. 1/2 cup Fage with 12 raspberries and a squeeze of lemon. Yumm!

Chasing The High

Have you heard that quote, "She's chasing the high."
It's typically used with drug addicts or alcoholics.  But I have officially claimed it!
NO, I'm not doing drugs.
NO, I'm not drinking.
BUT, what I am doing is chasing my food addiction high.
Jose and I took the kids to the drive in Tuesday night.  Before we left I stopped at the Dollar Tree and bought candy, a lot of candy!  I bought Ant, Dom and Dee's requested candy along with the candy that I thought Jose and I would want to munch on.  On our way out to the drive in we stopped at Little Ceasars to buy some $5 pizza's with what else...Garlic Butter Dipping Sauce!  Makes my mouth drool just thinking of it!

We got to the drive in and got situated.  I fed all the munchkins so that I can sit and enjoy my hot pizza with my garlic butter dipping sauce.  OH YEAH...I was one happy Mama!!!  Until piece number three.  I felt horrible!  I wanted to vomit and get it out of my belly.  But I knew that would bring other issues and I really didn't want to vomit all that yummy goodness I just devoured.  So I drank 2 bottles of water.  After all, it would flush it down to where I could next have some CANDYYYYYY!
OH YEAH, first it was a Red Vine, then I opened the box of Sugar Babies for Jose and had to have a handful.  Then the Chewy Sweet Tart Minis I bought Anthony...Hey, they were tiny and I needed a tart after the sweets.  Then my box...Whoppers!  I had a few OK, I had about 6!
I was chasing that high!  I wanted something but nothing was getting it.  Out of all of the junk I ate, nothing got me to where I wanted to be.  I could have kept going but my body was screaming at me from the inside out!  It was horrible.  I felt lousy for the rest of the night, even after about 6 bottles of water.  The next day I woke up with my sciatica flared up and my sinus inflamed.  I couldn't work out, and still haven't this week.  So I knew I had to do something right.  I pounded the water all day on Wednesday and ate tons of veggies and fruits trying to flush my body of all the toxins.
Yes, TOXINS!  Our bodies weren't made for all of the processed food we give it.  The fattening foods we put into it.  The grease we expect it to digest.  Like I've said before, I don't deprive my body but it all has to be done in moderation, not gorge!

So what could I have done better?
1) Pack & Prepare- apples with almond butter, grapes, grape tomatoes, raisins dipped in yogurt and frozen, popcorn with no butter.

2) Pre-thought MY dinner- I could have made a salad and taken that with me.  Or even cut up veggies that I could have eaten BEFORE the pizza.  Then I would only have needed to eat 1 piece, opposed to the 3 I ate.  It would have even benefited my family to have a salad or veggies before dinner.

3) Not buying as much candy- I still have 4 boxes of candy in my pantry.  I didn't need to buy all of that candy.  My kids nor Jose eat it.  It'll sit in there for a while until I throw it out.  Actually , Jose did finish off the sugar babies last night and I think Adi ate some red vines.  But I didn't need to buy all that candy.

There is SO much that goes into this whole learning to live better.  I have to remember to think before I act, just like in any other area of my life.
Just like the quote says below, "Old habits die hard.  But the good news is, they do die." ~JM

It's Officially Official!!!!!

I knew I nailed it on Saturday but I got my confirmation email today!!!!
I'm so excited. I can't believe this is truly happening, it is a little surreal. Now for the real work to begin.
Here it is...

Huge food accomplishment

This Friday and Saturday, Jose and I went out of town to celebrate our 17 year wedding anniversary!!!  It was SO nice, just to get away.
We went to dinner Friday night.  We stopped at Chili's on our way out to our first destination.  Typically I will order anything with pasta, cream, fried, fatty, you get the picture.  Well, browsing the menu I saw a new Mango Salsa Salmon (I think that's what it was).  I told Jose, I think I was going to get that.  He wanted the same thing, which is typical when it comes to seafood.  He always chooses it over anything else (except steak).  I was kind of sad for a minute that I wasn't getting pasta or something more fattening.  After all, I was on my anniversary celebration weekend.  I should be going all out, right!?!?!
WRONG!  I need to be making more conscious decisions at all times no matter where I'm at or what I'm doing!
Saturday we woke up late and took our time getting ready and heading out for the day.  I know now I should have packed some food for me to eat.  I actually knew when I was packing that I should have but just didn't...live and learn.  It wasn't until 1pm that we left the hotel and I hadn't eaten since the night before.  Hungry was an understatement at that point.  We knew there was a Starbucks next door to the hotel and we also knew that was going to be our first stop.  We needed some coffee!!!  Jose ordered his coffee and a piece of berry cake thing.  I actually stood there and observed the calorie content of each thing.  Asked the barista if they had nutritional facts on a few of my choices and what they were made of. Unfortunately he wasn't too helpful and they didn't have the info in store.  But I made the best choice I could at the moment.  I was pretty proud of myself that I stopped and took the time to make an "educated" decision.  I got my muffin and coffee and off we went.
We planned on going to lunch and knew we wanted sushi!  So off on the hunt we went.  We finally found a WONDERFUL little gem tucked away by an Albertsons and a bakery and another Mexican food place.  Went in and looked at the menu.  Unfortunately they didn't have an all you can special but they did have bentos!  There was an older gentleman sitting next to us that gave us a yummy bento tip and so we ordered it along with a sushi roll.  Jose and I ended up splitting a salmon and shrimp sushi roll and a bento box consisting of prime rib teriyaki, tempura, sashimi, a super yummy salad and a few mixed veggies.
We literally split it all and I was surprisingly full and content.  We used to go to sushi places and I can't even tell you how many rolls we would I would put down in a single sitting!  
Later that night we ended up at Downtown Disney and I KNEW we were going to be eating at The Jazz Kitchen I actually made reservations the night before we couldn't keep because Jose was late getting home.  Anyway, I SO wanted the Blackened Chicken Carbonarra!!!  I kept drooling over it and mentally finding excuses as to why I should eat that dish.  It's had to impress my pallet and I KNEW this dish would have done it!  I talked with the waitress and she agreed, if I wanted to be 'WOW-ED' this was the dish.  Well I also told her I needed to be a "good girl" and eat something with a lower calorie content.  She suggested the Pecan Crusted Salmon, which I looked at but then thought...NAAAAHHHH.
Well, I ordered it and it was divine !!  I was SO happy I went with the salmon.  Not only because it tasted AMAZING but the calorie count had to have been at least a few hundred calories less than the other choice and the salmon is so much better for you.  We did order the banana's foster and I did have a Jorge's Land Mine (Moonshine grain whisky, rum, vodka, gin, midori, sweet and sour).  But over all, it was about the choices I was making.  Being conscious of what I was choosing and making the right choices.  

Jazzercise update: I have been working out this week.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  But I've been trying to focus on my arms like Tana showed me.  Being aware of my moves, exaggerating certain moves and being BIGGER...HAHAHAHA
I went up on the stage and did one of my favorite songs right now.  The instructor and I BOTH forgot the routine...HAHAHAHA It was hilarious!  Thank God Rebecca was in the back guiding us because we were both lost.  It is SO hard for me to start on my left side!  I sweat like a crazed lunatic and I just think it's hilarious!  People looking at me makes me feel so off, I really don't like it but I know I will get through all of this.  It hasn't really kicked in yet, nerves wise, that Saturday is the day.  I'm grateful for that because I'm getting sleep.  

Oh, I almost forgot!  I have been wanting to get my nose pierced again for a while but don't want to just go do it.  Jose and I were going to go get piercings for our anniversary but never did.  So I told Jose that if I pass this Saturday I want to go get my nose done.  We will see, but I really want to get it done.  It'll be a significance of a milestone.  Then once I become an instructor I want to get a tattoo.  Not sure what yet but I know it will come to me.  So, make sure you look for a picture...it'll indicate if I passed or not.

Until later....be conscious!!!

I'm baaack!

I had to take a hiatus from blogging. I seem to get excited over things and then over focus on the one thing and not on others.
Well, I am learning balance! We will see how long it lasts. Hopefully a long time, I need to stay focused.

Anywho, I have a Jazzercise update!
I have my Movement Screening in ONE WEEK!!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
I'm so nervous! I want to do good, I want to pass and I want to start moving forward to become an instructor. The feed back from my peers is SO AWESOME! I've had people approach me and encourage me and cheer me on. It means SO much to me!
Today I met with Tana. I think it went well. I seem to have short limbs (not new news to me) and so I need to learn to really exaggerate my movements, especially in my arms. I've been told I need to up my intensity, which I'm really trying to do. There are times during my workout I want to drop down to lower intensity or slow down. But I'm not allowing myself. I literally talk to myself and have to stay on track. I'm feeling it and I'm feeling it get easier. Now I have to work on my arms and certain movements to make sure I'm learning right. Tana went over notes with me and showed me some things. I'm really getting excited!!!
Jose has been getting side jobs and my parties have doubled what I've been doing. So the money is coming in. It's amazing how its all working out! It all seemed like it wasn't going to happen but I now see the light.
I'm super excited! I plan on keeping up on here more. I'll try to post before next Saturday but if not, I'll post after to keep all of my followers, cheerleaders and fans up to date on my journey!

Oh I almost forgot. Delayna snapped a pic of Tana and I working. I'm up on stage. Thought I'd share.

I have a confession to make

I haven't been to Jazzercise in 2 WEEKS! TWO WEEKS! I'm really feeling lousy today and I'm not sure what is going on. It started last night and I was not getting up this morning to workout. I felt horrible, still do. I'll blog more about that on my personal blog here: Good Luck Keeping Up Monday is a new day and a new week. I will be back and probably blogging that I'm not feeling good because my muscles hurt from working them.