I took two classes today and by the time the 'heavies' were going in the second class I was beat, physically and emotionally.
This week has been emotional already, I have a LOT (probably an understatement) going on. I will blog about all that on my family page here: Good Luck Keeping Up
Then last week I was laid up for 5 days due to a pulled ham string. Going back to working out on Monday was a challenge. Tuesday I was sore. Today I woke up and could barely move! My abs are KILLING me, my legs feel like I've been doing hundreds of squats. I went to class and took a great class taught by Shannon, especially the strength training part of it. Wooo, was it tough. But I did it and didn't slow down or stop no matter how painful those arm circles with 8lb weights in each hand were. Then the ab work...HOLY TOLEDO! Gretchen and Shannon have the same routine in their set and it is intense!
Well Jen was telling me about Adriana's class that she has been teaching and found out that she was going to teach it today at the 10:10 class. At the end of my 9 o'clock class I thought, "NO WAY am I staying." But when I went to the back I thought, "I can do this. Besides it'll be lots of fun with all the latin music." So I checked in for class #2...there's no leaving after checking in!
I was off in the beginning, lots of new songs and a few I haven't done in a while. But I caught up and caught on. Funny how your body and mind remember moves. Kind of like not riding a bicycle for a number of years then getting back on. It all comes back to you.
Then we hit our 'heavies'. I know they are both heavies because they are both my Workshop Routine Songs. I LOVE one and I LOATH the other!
The first one is JLo and Pitbull Dance Again (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjgFH01k0gU)
I actually love this routine and am challenging myself with the jumping and squats. I know I suck at it but I'm learning that my thighs and butt are my biggest challenges as well as two big muscle groups that are hard to work. I wanted to quite, but I pushed myself and got through it.
Then I hear Paulina Rubio All Around The World ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEyvt0HuUbI)
Adriana started this song and I literally heard it and said, "Okay Lord, I need you on this one!" And it began....I tried HARD! Ultimately I ended up doing two chorus' in low impact. No, I didn't stop. But man I was PISSED! I stopped before the song was over and went to the bathroom and cried. Wanted to punch the wall but didn't. Then composed myself and went back out there to finish the rest of the class.
When I walked out of that bathroom I had this feeling of defeat all over me. I was weighed down and wanted to just say, "Screw it!" and walk out. I didn't but I wanted to. I felt a heaviness on me the remainder of the class that I couldn't shake. When I left I called Jose and just wanted to fall into his arms. I told him, "I get so mad at myself. Why can't I beat these songs together? I feel like I'm a failure and I'm not going to make this."
His words were dead on and comforted me. He said, "Mija, I know how you feel. I have felt that way also. But don't let it hold you down. You are going to keep practicing, pushing and working hard to get them. Let that frustration give you a drive to work harder and defeat it."
Like I said before, "this is a journey. I'm learning daily." I don't have the endurance like my crazy girl Tana who gets up on stage and is all over the place. I have to build it up. It takes time and practice.
I feel like God has placed me here now because I find a lot of encouragement in my Babies. Anthony & Adriana are AWESOME athletes! Their endurance, stamina and abilities amaze me. But they didn't get where they are at over night. They practice, HARD!!!! They didn't become the athletes they are by watching but engaging. They learned and put what they learned into practice then what they practiced into the game. I've always told them, "do your best and leave it on the field." Now it's time Mama takes her own advice and I do my best and leave it all on the dance floor. If I tried to quite and they were there cheering me on I know I would go to the sidelines and they would tell me, "Ma, quitting isn't an option. Find your strength and push through."
So, I'm going to push through...No matter what it takes! I may be in the bathroom crying out of frustration. But that frustration is going to fuel me and I WILL come out fighting!
