As the title reads, "be who you were made to be", is what I want to discuss. I think that many overweight women (I can't speak for the men) have an issue with being who they are. I honestly believe that we become obese or overweight because we are uncomfortable in our own skin. We then closet eat, binge eat, eat to make ourselves feel good turning to food to make us happy, socially eat and the list goes on and on! We are caught chasing "happiness" and before we know it, we are on a downward spiral to obesity.
Once we are obese we get to a point where we realize where we are at and ask ourselves that very popular question, "How did I get here?" We realize that all that "eating" didn't get us anywhere but into a worse place and situation. Then doubt, fear, anxiety, depression, loneliness, etc kicks in. Not only are we now carrying the issues we were dealing with but we are now carrying a toddler on top of our natural framed body. For me, I was carrying a teenager on top of my natural framed body and still have about an 8 year old left that needs to go away!
When we finally get to a point where we can start loosing our "extra self" (whether it is all natural or surgical) we have to start dealing with all of the stuff that is inside of us that got us there in the first place. I relate all of this to a drug addict or an alcoholic. You can't just stop doing the drugs with out dealing with the reason why it got you there in the first place. You have demons in your closet that you have to deal with before you can get to the place where you ultimately need to be...FREE from the addiction and bondage!
I have a very dear friend and a true inspiration. She has helped me along my journey by being a testimony to her one journey. You may or may not know her and her husband, but before long you will! There will be a Jen & Keith show! Ha!!!
Anywaaaays, she wrote something on her facebook that spoke volumes to me and it goes perfectly right at this moment:
"Random thought of the day: People tell me a lot something like this "well sure you've lost weight and you look different on the outside, but you are still the same on the inside! You are still the same JEN!". And while people mean it in a nice way, they are all actually wrong.
I am not the same JEN, inside or out. In order to fix the physical (the symptom), I had to change and fix the cause (the
inside). So even though that's a much longer process, haha, my inside self is not the same. I can't be. No one can remain who they were, morbidly obese, mentally, emotionally, and lose weight and keep it off. It cannot be done. You have to transform your mind AND your body, or else you'll be back to obese in no time.
And more to the point, I don't WANT to be who I was. I didn't like myself very much at all, or love myself-and I ADORE Myself now!! :) I have much work to be done (mentally), but I am so much happier and healthier in every way possible!"
And more to the point, I don't WANT to be who I was. I didn't like myself very much at all, or love myself-and I ADORE Myself now!! :) I have much work to be done (mentally), but I am so much happier and healthier in every way possible!"
I can't go as far as she does with the whole "adoring myself", not yet anyway! God has worked on me and has changed a lot of nastiness that I was carrying. Just 3-4 years ago I was a HORRIBLE person! Well, in my opinion. I was wrapped up in some nastiness that wasn't healthy for me inside or out. With the weightloss, I've noticed that I have lost a lot of that nastiness. Just recently I posted my blog onto my facebook and a friend of mine that has known me (and loved me for me) for the past 10 years replied with this:
"
Wow Melissa, thanks for sharing... you are such an inspiration. You are beautiful inside & out. Knowing you for all these yrs I can honestly saw I've never seen you look happier. You are just glowing. Keep up the hard work girl. So happy you found yourself "
"
Can I just tell you, that is a HUGE blessing to me. It isn't often that people, besides my mom (she is honestly my biggest fan!) tell me things like this. It re-affirms that I am on the right track!
It isn't easy being a woman, mom, wife and never having a father to teach you what love really is. I've always had my mom, and I KNOW she loves me! Jose has been my "father figure", boyfriend, husband, etc since I was 12 years old. I have A LOT of brokenness inside of me that isn't easy to deal with. I LONG for a daddy! But what I've learned is that I do have a Daddy. I have THE GREATEST DADDY anyone could EVER have! What isn't easy is that he isn't tangible. I can't touch him, hug him, let him hold me and I release everything physically weighing me down. BUT, He is here for me. He does love me. He can take the weight of EVERYTHING weighing me down (self-doubt, timidity, anger, LIFE, weight issues, my own addictions and faults I deal with). It's not easy and it's something I have had to learn to allow to happen. This too has been part of my weight loss issues/success. God does care about the little things, like my weight issues! I fail Him, DAILY! I feel like he doesn't care, doesn't want to hear about it, is tired of hearing me whine about the things I'm constantly whining about. But I'm reminded and was reminded again today by another amazing friend and beacon of strength in my life.
Mishele posted on facebook this morning:
"As I was spending time with God this morning I was reminded of a conversation I had with my youngest last night. Through her teary eyes she said "Mommy I'm sorry." As I bent down to hug her and say thank you I looked her in the eyes and told her that I loved her and that She was beautiful, smart, and that I loved her so much. While I was praying this morning, God reminded me that as He was looking at me that He thought the same things about me. 1 John 4:19 says "We love Him because He first love Him because He first loved us." Remember today that we serve a great God who loves us more than we could ever know. He loves us and thinks good things about us!"
Isn't that AWESOME to know that even though you may be dealing with crud and failing him (because we ALL do, DAILY!) that He still loves us more than we could ever know! Not only does He love us but he "thinks good things about us". Really!?!?! Even in all my messed up cruddy-ness, trying to please everyone and loosing myself in the midst, allowing other things to control me because I feel as though "I'm not good enough".
YUP, through it all!
So to wrap it up and bring you back to our topic, Be who you were made to be. I have one more facebook status update (I told you, it's all been stirring and bringing it all here to tie it together!).
Another person who I look up to, her work is amazing (too bad I found Jazzercise before I found Rebecca...HAHAHA! Really though, God knew what He was doing and maybe one day we'll be tied together for some reason. Who knows but God!) I think VERY highly of her and have seen AMAZING results from some very dear friends of mine. She posted a VERY profound status update and seriously, that is when I said, "I've got my blog post!"
"Be proud and confident in who you are, with humility. Because you are perfect in your imperfections!"
I am going to leave you with a few things.
A scripture- Psalm 139:13-18
"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you."
That right there tells me, NO MATTER how messed up I think I am, I was FEARFULLY & WONDERFULLY made! God made me, the woman I am! I may have detoured in a few routes of my life, but He made me the way I am so that I can live out His plan for my life. It was made especially for me. I had all of those hurts and wounds, gained all of that weight so that I can in turn be used through my testimony to reach whomever it is that I'm reaching. This is the same for you my friend! It says so in His word. How amazing is that!?!?!
And for fun, I have to leave you with a VERY popular quote to make things fun:
Now I noticed a few things when searching for this quote that some people took it as, "who gives a crap about what people think about you." Not along the lines that I'm thinking, so don't mis-read this! It is simply as my blog title is labled..."Be who you were made to be"...because those who aren't your true friends really don't have or deserve an opinion in your life/choices. Those who are your true friends won't mind your crazy antics, because they love you for who you are!
I hope this has made sense and opened a few things up for you to not only loose the physical weight weighing you down but all that emotional and mental weight that you are carrying around also!
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